22, Still Single-That’s Cool

I am 22 years old. 

I have never been on a date.

I have never had a boyfriend.

I have never had a first kiss.

I have never had sex.

I am 22 years old, and I am okay with that. 

When you get to be my age, everyone around you is either getting into a relationship or getting engaged. Some have even gotten married. Good for them, I think. And I genuinely am happy for them. But sometimes I wonder, “why am I still single?” And I start to ponder this. And then I start to hate this. And as I keep thinking I realize something: it’s okay that I am not in a relationship. It’s okay that I have never been on a date. I mean, it kind of stinks some days when your family and friends ask about past boyfriends and you say that you haven’t had any, and they look at you like you’re an alien being from Neptune. But hey, what are you going to do? 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my future. Like many girls my age, I’ve wondered what kind of man I’ll end up marrying. (I’m human, okay. Sue me!) I’ve thought about whether or not I will have kids and what they will be like. Heck, I even wrote a poem about it. (Spur of the moment spoken word piece about some of the things I would teach my children should I have them.) Often times, I wonder why I waste my time with these things. I mean really. Other times though, I’m glad I think of them, because if I didn’t think of them I wouldn’t listen to podcasts and read blogs, books and articles that challenge my thinking on the subject matter. If I didn’t think about it, I would still walk around with these fairytale ideas about love and relationships. I’d be fantasizing about some perfect guy that I would marry that doesn’t even exist. I’d be caught up in listing all of these characteristics that I’d want my future husband to have. I’d be writing sappy love letters to this guy that again, does not and will not exist. (Disclaimer: the whole sappy love letter thing-not typically a me thing. I have written literally two love poems that I can remember. As much as I am a hopeless romantic, I hate romance novels. The idea of writing love letters makes me want to gag. And love poems…small doses, we’re good. Large doses…again, gag. Love songs…we’ll talk about that later.) Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t be writing sappy love letters. But you get my point. I’d be trapped in misconceptions.

The writer in me wants to write about what those misconceptions are. But as I sit here staring at this screen, I am realizing something. I am not writing this to put the misconceptions that I have had to shame. But rather this is for me to share some realizations that I’ve had about my future, and things that I have reconciled. (Or am reconciling.) So, here we go. (I do apologize for the lack of fluidity in this blog.)

I might not have children some day.

I might not get married some day. (Working on being okay with this one.)

If I do get married, the man that I end up marrying will have probably dated other women before me.

If I do get married, the man that I marry might not be a virgin.

If I do get married, the man that I will marry will be by no means perfect. He might not love poetry like I do. He might not be passionate about music like I am. He might not be a dancer. He might not have a love language of physical touch. 

If I do get married, it probably won’t be for another ten years.

I do not date. For the longest time, it was because I was waiting for “Mr. Right.” Now, it’s because I see a lot of growth that needs to take place in me before I can enter into a healthy relationship. Now, it’s because I know God has called me to be a missionary, and I’m trying to figure out what that means for my life. Now, it’s because I realize that while relationships and dating are all good and well, they are not the highest calling in life. There are greater things. 

I am 22 years old. 

I have never been on a date.

I am still single. And I am not just okay with that. I am proud of that.

I am 22 years old. And despite the love fever going on around me, there are very few people that I like talking about these things with. And the frequencies of this topic are few and far fleeting. With that I shall end this post. Again, I apologize for the lack of fluidity. But perhaps that’s what this post was meant to be. 

Shalom my friends!

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